Unexpected Friendship

 

Ian told me that no one would ever believe that we could ever be friends. And she is right.

I was working at my desk one day when a new employee was introduced to me. It was a simple introduction. “This is Ian.” I looked up expecting to see a man. Standing before me was a tall, beautiful young woman dressed in black and sporting at least one tattoo that I could see. I was a bit taken aback because “Ian” was not what I expected.

Getting to know Ian a bit, I was pretty sure she would not understand me and would probably shun me. That is what happens when people make assumptions. So, I was careful with my approach to Ian and tried to simply be collegial.

One evening I was volunteering at an Admissions Open House and ended up next to Ian, welcoming prospective students and their families. I was a bit uncomfortable and uncertain about how to engage in casual conversation. However, a simple question of “How did you end up working here?” opened the door to getting to know each other.

As we have worked together, the awkwardness has fallen away. Something changed. The polite, respectful conversations became more personal. We shared our likes, our lives, and our religion. Ian has told me things about her life and her identity that are not part of my tenets. When we have time, we discuss those differences and come know each other better. Some conversations are on hold for a time when we will have the opportunity to delve into them.

Slowly, I realized that I like Ian. She is fun and funny. We have similar tastes in music and television. We like to read. We adore our cats. (After all, they are our babies). We have more things in common than differences. But I still did not know where I stood with Ian.

And then one day Ian said to me, “You’re the first conservative Christian who has ever been nice to me.” It was in that moment that I knew Ian had become my friend.