February 2008 |
I know
these questions may seem odd coming from someone who survived a cancerous
tumor. But sometimes I don’t feel like a breast cancer survivor in the same way
as others perceive me. Or even in the way I perceive others who are cancer
survivors. Let me try to explain by sharing with you some encounters that I have
had over the past five years.
My first
encounter with being called a “breast cancer survivor” was when my mother told
me that her friend told her that I became a survivor as soon as I was
diagnosed. That was a nice thing to tell my mother, but I don’t buy it. After
all, the cancer was in my body until it was removed. For me, I hadn’t “survived”
breast cancer until the tumor was out.
Another
encounter was few months after the completion of chemotherapy. I ran into a
young woman who was one of my students and the daughter of a dear friend. She knew
of my diagnosis, and my hair had just started growing back so I was still in
hats. She asked after my health. I was happy to be able to give her a good
report. Her response was, “Oh, so you’re in remission.” Remission??? Where did that come from? Other than the tumor in my
breast there was no cancer in my body that needed killing. However, there was
no reason for me to try to correct her if this is her understanding of cancer.
So I just smiled and gave her a hug.
Earlier
this week I had an encounter that gave me yet another “survivor” definition. I was
at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center for my annual mammogram (no findings
other than what they’ve seen before, I’m happy to report). While in the waiting
room I was drawn into a conversation by some of the other women who were
waiting. One woman was there as moral support for her best friend who was there
for a follow-up evaluation. At some point I told moral-support lady that I had
had breast cancer and had recently passed my five-year mark. Her response: “Congratulations!
You’ve made the five-year mark. You are now a survivor.” Well, yes and no.
There is
so much that goes into a diagnosis, treatment plan and outcome that being a “survivor”
is unique to every individual. The five-year mark is no longer statistically
significant because 97% of all breast cancer patients are still alive at the
five-year mark. Also, reaching the five-year mark does not mean a breast cancer
patient is cured. Depending upon your pathology report there are statistical
risks of recurrence beyond the five-year mark.
In my
own experience I believe I was healed when I had my surgery. Radiation
treatment was part two of the surgery. Chemotherapy was preventative medicine.
Passing the 48 month mark was statistically significant because my type of
breast cancer has a high rate of recurrence within the first 36-48 months after
the completion of treatment. As my oncologist said, it was an angry little
cancer.
I now have a lot more knowledge about my specific diagnosis. As a
result, I have made life-style changes and work hard to stay healthy. Knowing
what I know, I celebrate each passing year. And that is how I define being a
survivor. It is not past-tense. It is here and now. Every day.
If you enjoy my blog and would like to follow me on Facebook, I can be found at The Reluctant Survivor.
That's a lot to think about. I have a friend who considers himself a cancer survivor and wears a pink or purple shirt to church every Sunday. He never had cancer. His wife died of lung cancer, two years ago after a long battle which incuded one point when a combination of chemo and prayer caused 10 brain tumors to disappear. His take on it is unique as far as I know and i am not sure how to view it.
ReplyDeleteGood post!!
That was my favorite hat. I want to borrow it if I ever need it.
ReplyDelete