Dedicated to the true caregivers in my life.
Caregiver –
-
a
person who gives help and protection to someone, such as a child, an older
person, or someone who is sick. [Merriam-Webster]
-
a
person who cares for someone who is sick or disabled. [The Free Dictionary]
-
a
person who cares for someone requiring support due to a disability, frailty,
mental health problem, learning disability or old age [Wikipedia]
I have never thought of myself as a caregiver. I
am a friend who can, and is able to, help out another friend in need. However,
I was recently referred to as a “caregiver” by a volunteer at the hospital. At
first I was startled by the description and almost protested. But I have
learned to just accept the labels those around us have given me. Even one of
the doctors refers to me as Linda’s daughter.
My mother often refers to me and my sister as
her caregivers. I guess. I suppose. I think of my mother as my mother. And the
time I get to spend with her is precious and limited due to our geographic
distance. I am lucky enough to live within driving distance and we get to see
each other about once a month.
But when I stop and think about my friends who
are true caregivers I realize how little I know about their reality. My friend
Linda (from law school) cares for her husband, Peter, who is suffering from
Alzheimer’s disease. My friend Tina is her mother’s primary contact for all of
her medical needs. Even my own cousin is the caregiver for her parents; living
with them so that their daily needs are met.
November is National Caregivers Month here in
the United States. I encourage you to look around and see who in your community
is a caregiver. Is there something you can do to lessen their burden? Maybe
stay with their parent(s) or spouse so that they can have an afternoon at the
spa to get a massage. Maybe make a meal for the family. Maybe do their grocery
shopping and errands one day. Maybe clean their house. It doesn’t have to be
any of these things, but you have a gift that you can share. Think about how
you can use your gift to give that caregiver a well-deserved respite.
I still don’t think of myself as a caregiver. I
think of myself as someone who can give of my time to help a caregiver. What
can you do this month? Better yet, can you give of your time once a month?
Caregivers need more than the month of November.
My mother was a caregiver for two decades.. and then only had two years of good health before I became her caregiver while she struggled with and died of cancer. My sojourn was only a few months and shared many of the responsibilities with my sister. My mother was an amazing human being.. she went years barely being able to leave the house and never considered doing anything else.
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