Live in the moment. That was the advice I was given by my co-worker, another breast cancer survivor, after I was first diagnosed. At the time I wasn’t sure what she meant because I thought that was exactly how I lived my life. For today.
It’s more than that. For a while I could not make plans into the future. When my husband booked a luxury cruise four months in advance to celebrate the (challenging) year being over, I made him buy trip insurance. Eventually I was able to make plans but I could not anticipate them. I seemed focused on the here and now; what was on this week’s horizon. Now I make plans, and even look forward to them, but I am cautious and hold in the back of my mind that things could change and I’ll have to cancel.
I am slightly OCD. I like lists. I want a schedule. I want to know what is expected and when. This drives my husband crazy. His professional life is so full of demands that come the weekend he just wants to “go with the flow.” I’ve eased up on him a bit over the years. And he has gotten better with communication and planning (when it is necessary).
Living in the moment is about not being so rigid. It is about not overly anticipating that next big event or trip. It is learning that plans can be changed. Appointments can be rescheduled. This past week my friends invited me to visit for the day. I said yes. We took a walk in the woods. That wasn’t the Tuesday I had planned. It wasn’t on my calendar. But it was the best Tuesday I’ve had in a while. And it was well worth it.