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I am a wife, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a cousin & a best friend. I am a poet, a lawyer & a survivor. I've learned that God will give you a second chance.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Equipping the Called

I received my undergraduate degree from Gordon College. Gordon is a private, four year Christian liberal arts college on the North Shore of Massachusetts. It started out as a Bible and Missionary Training school in Boston. When I attended, there was still an emphasis on missions, and you could major in Biblical Studies. I have always been fascinated by people who are “called” to become missionaries. Though the one thing I know about myself is that I do not have that calling. In fact, it was the last thing I wanted to do while I was in college. And there were plenty of opportunities to do short-term mission trips. What fascinates me are the people who are called into this ministry.

My friends, Steve and Pam Hill, are missionaries in South Africa. I love them dearly. Pam and I were part of a close-knit group of friends when we were young adults. Ever since I have known them the Hills wanted to go to Africa as missionaries. And they went. Every time I think of them there is a small tug of envy in my heart. Not because I want to be a missionary, but because I want to be like them. I want to “be called” so strongly that there is no doubt in my mind or heart that I am doing the right thing with my life. Missionaries are my perfect example of living God’s will.
As much as being a missionary fascinates me, it also scares me. How can anybody do what they do? And then I remember: God does not call the equipped. He equips the called. It is this response, this answer to God’s calling that tugs at my heart.
After diagnosis and treatment I learned of the American Cancer Society Fundraiser Spin for Hope. (It is now named Pedal to End Cancer). I heard about it at my athletic club and decided that I wanted to participate. I did in 2010 and was the second top fundraiser from my athletic club. It was an amazing experience and I have often thought about participating again. It is always held the first Sunday in March.
However, even after treatment I could never imagine participating in a “walk,” let alone anything that took more than a day. I’m not sure why, but maybe I was afraid of walking long distances whereas riding a stationary bike is pretty safe. As I wrote in my initial post The Reluctant Survivor, I was the one always willing to sponsor. It was when my school mate and friend called to ask if I’d be interested in doing a fundraising walk in memory of our friend that my heart answered “yes” before my brain could close my mouth. During the weeks that followed I often found myself questioning my ability. I would often think, “What have I gotten myself into?” And I would wonder if there was a way out.
I trained, to the best of my ability, for that first walk. It was painful. There were injuries. But the biggest hurdle was the emotional one. The one where I was full of doubts; doubts about my physical ability. The fear of an unknown walk, in an unknown city. I was pretty sure I had said yes to something that was impossible, at least for me. It was then I would feel that tug on my heart and would remember that God does not call the equipped. And I would find myself saying to God, “Well, you better equip me.”
Even today as I begin “training” for the 2013 Avon Walk I am struck by the fact that I am not equipped. I am not an athlete. I walked 30 miles on my treadmill during the month of January. I have been slowed down by a minor injury to my left heel, so I will not be walking 30 miles during the month of February. However, there are other things I can do, such as weight training and yoga, to prepare for a marathon walk. As unequipped as I am, God continues to equip this walker who was called.


  1. Yes! God does equip those He has called.

    Interestingly, I love distance walks and it was never prepping or walking that bothered me, it was asking people to sponser me. For one walk, I actually had someone do that for me. it makes me really nervous.

    Thanks for all you do. Hope that injury heals quickly!

  2. God has called you,& equipped you. You will be ready when the time comes. No matter how your walk turns out GOD & Everyone whom loves you will be proud of you,for your works,effort & support to others. You are an inspiration to many even if you don't know it.
    God has blessed you, and you have blessed many!

    Love you always...Cuz Cary Foo

  3. Reading this makes me think of the eye of the Tiger:-) You have it! You are being equipped, baby!

  4. Your family is so proud of you and all you do. I envy you going to San Francisco but not the walk. Please know we are praying for you.